Piranha 3D

August 21st, 2010

For weeks, I said I wasn't going to do it. I refused to give in to the hype. I even went so far as to cite my hatred for 3D movies as to why I was going to miss Aja's latest classic. But, alas, I gave in...

I'm beginning to think blood gets me up in the morning.

I went in with a bad attitude. I thought this film was going to suck.-I was just looking forward to the carnage. After some mediocre reviews, I hoped for the best, but expected the worst.

And in the end, I was actually pretty happy with the film. Seriously- I'm not pulling your leg. (And no, it had nothing to do with Eli Roth's cameo.)

By no means is it Alexandre Aja's greatest film. That honor goes to HIGH TENSION. If you're a true fan of horror, and you've gone out on a limb and seen the NC-17 version, you know what I mean. If you're not a horror fan- I'd steer clear. It's pretty grotesque.

Back to Piranha--

The film starts out with the Piranhas escaping from their lair and attacking Richard Dreyfuss in a boat. Ok, I can see it- back to the JAWS pun- but I still wasn't impressed.

Moving on- we're in the middle of Lake Victoria, Arizona. It's Spring Break. Lots of booze, teenagers, and tits- the perfect set up for a late '90s horror film. Throw in the local Sheriff and her family, a couple of porn stars, and by golly, it's starting to look like a blood bath!

And it lived up to expectations. Those piranhas rip people limb from limb and there's the whole 'human aspect'-- people killing other people for survival. In that sense, it was magnificent. When the dynamics of society break down, that's usually when the best gore happens. Not to ruin anything, but I was pretty nauseated when the girl's hair got tangled in the boat and the guy ended up ripping her face off. Gross. But awesome.

The 3D graphics, however, were disappointing. They could have done so much more with them. I mean, come on, no jumping fish, no off-course boats, just a couple of floating eyeballs and even a penis... yes. You read that correctly. A penis- which a piranha spits out. So then it gets to float around some more. Yeah- the graphics were THAT BAD.

Overall, it was a fun movie. If I had a star system, I'd give it a 7/10. I think it's a much better choice than The Expendables... and if you're a true fan of the horror genre, you should get off your ass and see it.

Just don't get bit.

Peace, Love and Heartbreak ♥
A